Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize