Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
