he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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