your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
