How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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