I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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