i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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