Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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