How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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