Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
