It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
