i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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