What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize