I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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