Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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