he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
