I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize