I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
