dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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