Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
