one might say we're banned from that church
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize