It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
