hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
