I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize