Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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