thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
