come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
