girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
