I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
