dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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