I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
