I love black thongs
the condom got lost in my hair
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
