Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
