I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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