soooo we both peed the bed last night...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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