I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
