Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
