just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
