Dual....:-)
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
