somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
