Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
