never play flip cup with pint glasses
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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