He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
