Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
