Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
