At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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