oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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