Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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