Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
