ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
