wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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