I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
