But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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