I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
