So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
she was so not down for the gang bang
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
