I just cut my nipple shaving
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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