would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
