do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
