I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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